Swipe left/right

Murdoch News: Proceedings at the Leveson Inquiry were brought to a halt today, after the Bible Rupert Murdoch swore an oath on spectacularly burst into flames.

Onlookers were left in shock as Murdoch, 124, began to swear an oath promising to tell “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” – only for the Bible to briefly catch fire, leaving behind an eerie smouldering hand print.

Other reports suggesting that all the milk in the building simultaneously soured and every bird in the vicinity suddenly dropped dead, remain unconfirmed.

Murdoch later took to Twitter to explain the Incident. He tweeted: “Bible covered in leather. Must have reacted to the hand moisturiser I use. Nothing sinister about that. Certainly not in league with Satan.”

Lord Justice Leveson brought proceedings to a halt, until a priest could be summoned to bless the room and pour a protective ring of salt around Mr. Murdoch, in order to contain the evil within.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: Man tries to burn EU flag but it won't light because of EU regulations on flammable materials

 

Trending Now

  1. News
    Donald Trump’s entire presidency summed up in one 20-second clip
  2. Pics
    Trump wants this photo of his dodgy tan removed from the internet. Please do not share.
  3. Pics
    50 “short, clean jokes that get a laugh every time” to distract you from the hellish pain that is Article 50
  4. Pics
    59 Victoria Wood quotes that’ll quite frankly improve your day because she was as funny as hell
  5. Pics
    “Wow! This is a terrible place to break the sentence”
« Swipe navigation »