Chocolate News: Makers of Kinder Surprise eggs are repositioning their iconic chocolate eggs for adult consumers.
With sales of the original version dwindling, confectionery giants Ferrero have come up with a ploy to win over older customers: filling their eggs with practical objects.
Tiny pieces of financial advice, paperclips and a halogen lightbulb are all part of what their press release describes as ‘Kinderadulterisationalism’.
“I was at a loss last week when I couldn’t get the rear indicator to work on a clients mark 4 Golf diesel,” says mechanic Hamish Bibby.
“I decided to down tools for my customary 4 o’clock ‘surprise’ and was amazed to find a fuse inside it that fitted the car perfectly. I was able to finish the job and pick up my £458 plus VAT.”
Milk chocolate fun can easily turn to tragedy however, and Ferrero warn against an over-reliance on their eggs, insisting they are ‘no substitute for adequate planning’.
“There have been some regrettable incidents in Switzerland where the new Kinder eggs are extremely popular,” says Ferrero spokesperson Hans Friel.
“One amateur climber allegedly embarked on a solo mountaineering trip equipped with just few Kinder Surprises, in the mistaken belief that they would contain essentials such as a tent and an oil burning cooker.”
“Unfortunately, even the delicious white chocolate interior was not enough to help her withstand the sub-zero temperatures, especially when the eggs themselves contained only a comb, a bottle opener and a packet of tulip seeds.”
“While we are of course very sorry to hear about this unfortunate episode, sales are up by 500%.”
Story+Image: Mother’s Best Child
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