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Marital News: A married woman has expressed her intense disappointment after reading her husband’s internet browsing history and finding nothing untoward.

“Bob and I have been together for over 15 years,” said Susan Groynes. “I figured by now he’d be bored and getting his kicks in the darker corners of the internet, watching clips of depraved sex acts. But no – there’s nothing like that. “

“The only tit I caught him looking at was Jeremy Clarkson’s column on The Times website. It makes me wonder if I ever really knew him at all.”

The couple is reportedly now undergoing therapy, with Mr Groynes promising his wife that ‘he can change’ and will ‘google something really filthy’ as soon as he can.

“It’s a case of too little too late,” reflected Mrs Groynes. “If I’d caught him watching some girl-on-horse clips at least I would know he’s alive. Now it feels like I’m married to some dickless robot that just googles cricket scores and constantly checks the 5-day forecast.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

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