Twiggy News: Marks & Spencer have blamed poor sales forecasts and low stock prices on Twiggy, the model that has fronted ad campaigns for the retailer since 2005.

“Everything was just just fine before Twiggy turned up,” said M&S chief executive Marc Bolland. “Then the next thing I know, the whole business is on it’s knees. I’ve never trusted that woman. She has cold, dead eyes.”

“It’s certainly not my fault,” he went on to add.

Bolland believes that Twiggy is directly responsible for the failing of M&S – suggesting that at night she has broken into to a number of stores and moved knitwear around, spoiled sandwiches and smashed packets of shortbread.

The chain, which operates more than 700 stores in the UK, has said that in future Twiggy will only be aloud to make tea and keep the office tidy, until they feel they can trust her and make sure ‘she’s not up to anything’.

Story: Simon Swatman

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3 Responses

  • diana white

    Is this a joke. How can he blame twiggy she is such a nice lady, maybe he should look at the fact that clothes are not made in the UK any more and I know of people who will not shop there any more including myself for this reason, I can also say that I am not impressed with the style of them either.

    April 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm
  • Phil

    Yes Diana, you can safely assume that this is a joke. As is the proof-reading. Aloud?

    April 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm
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    July 16, 2012 at 5:13 am