Swipe left/right

Science News: Physicists announced today that they have discovered a new and ‘better’ form of darkness.

Team leader Donald Timbercock explains: “Seeing something in the dark that is, in itself, dark was problematic. Every time we turned the light on, the dark simply vanished. It’s like it had a mind of its own.”

“We call it ‘superdarkness’,” says R&D scientist Joe Smart. “Or darkness 2.0.”

But what makes this new darkness so special?

For a start, it’s darker,” Smart continues.

Also, it’s heavier. It sinks to the floor, and is perfect for low level espionage, camouflaging and generally creeping up on things. However, it actually weighs very little and can be carried around in a convenient aerosol spray form. It’s perfect for both counter-terroism operations and Halloween.”

Experts, however, are keen to express caution.

“Though we have identified superdarkness,” says Professor Harold Aulden from the Photoid Institute, “its exact nature remains an enigma. Just as each and every action has an equal and opposite reaction, we are hoping to explain superdarkness with a similar cliché, and the back it up with some complicated-looking equations. This approach has a proven track record.”

Story:  Martin Garside

 

Breaking News: You've got to see the Pope's face when he turns to look at Donald Trump. You've just got to

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    #Britishthreatlevels is the funniest and most British response ever
  2. News
    Donald Trump met the Pope and people are having all kinds of fun with it
  3. News
    This truly wonderful Roger Moore story will soothe your aching soul
  4. Videos
    Labrador makes headlines after interrupting live TV news broadcast
  5. Pics
    Girl bemoans absence of ‘cute fox’ in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. Turns out she was watching a different, scarier movie
« Swipe navigation »