Science News: Physicists announced today that they have discovered a new and ‘better’ form of darkness.

Team leader Donald Timbercock explains: “Seeing something in the dark that is, in itself, dark was problematic. Every time we turned the light on, the dark simply vanished. It’s like it had a mind of its own.”

“We call it ‘superdarkness’,” says R&D scientist Joe Smart. “Or darkness 2.0.”

But what makes this new darkness so special?

For a start, it’s darker,” Smart continues.

Also, it’s heavier. It sinks to the floor, and is perfect for low level espionage, camouflaging and generally creeping up on things. However, it actually weighs very little and can be carried around in a convenient aerosol spray form. It’s perfect for both counter-terroism operations and Halloween.”

Experts, however, are keen to express caution.

“Though we have identified superdarkness,” says Professor Harold Aulden from the Photoid Institute, “its exact nature remains an enigma. Just as each and every action has an equal and opposite reaction, we are hoping to explain superdarkness with a similar cliché, and the back it up with some complicated-looking equations. This approach has a proven track record.”

Story:  Martin Garside

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  • Nick Robinson

    Apparently EU grants are to be made available to those southerly member states who have less than their fair share of darkness. Spain, Italy and Greece expected to benefit the most, although critics argue it will make Turkish entry to the EU harder than ever.

    April 17, 2012 at 3:21 pm