Swipe left/right

Orc News: Madge, the tan-fastic tortoise-faced terror of ITV’s ‘Benidorm’ is to join the roster of British actors in Peter Jackson’s widely-anticipated adaptation of Tolkien’s ‘The Hobbit’.

Madge from 'Benidorm' gets role as Orc in 'The Hobbit'

Madge is to play a leading female Orc, alongside fellow UK thespians Martin Freeman, Benedict Cumberbatch and Ian Mckellan.

One of the exciting things about this new movie is the opportunity to get deeper into the Orc universe,” says Jackson.

Although fans of the first trilogy know that Orcs are usually dug out of the earth in a big flabby condom, every so often a mother Orc with disturbing reproductive powers appears, usually when they are establishing a new hive.”

This mother, or Queen, is covered in nipples and is permanently in a bad mood. Madge was the obvious choice.”

Frig off!” Madge told Radio 4′s Mark Lawson.

Gandalf’s a woofta? You’re joking. I only took the job so I could have a go on him! Well mark my words – he’ll bloody change his mind once Madge Harvey’s taken proper hold of his wand.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

Image: Ninj

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Weird World
    Man delivers a spectacular shutdown to Innocent drinks
  2. News
    Watch a Canadian news anchor laugh uncontrollably as she struggles to report an odd story
  3. Videos
    Bored? Watch a lion gets its head stuck in a hippo’s arse
  4. Pics
    When Google Maps catches you picking up sex workers
  5. Videos
    Every episode of Danny Dyer’s “The Real Football Factories” edited into one 60 second chunk
« Swipe navigation »