Orc News: Madge, the tan-fastic tortoise-faced terror of ITV’s ‘Benidorm’ is to join the roster of British actors in Peter Jackson’s widely-anticipated adaptation of Tolkien’s ‘The Hobbit’.
Madge is to play a leading female Orc, alongside fellow UK thespians Martin Freeman, Benedict Cumberbatch and Ian Mckellan.
“One of the exciting things about this new movie is the opportunity to get deeper into the Orc universe,” says Jackson.
“Although fans of the first trilogy know that Orcs are usually dug out of the earth in a big flabby condom, every so often a mother Orc with disturbing reproductive powers appears, usually when they are establishing a new hive.”
“This mother, or Queen, is covered in nipples and is permanently in a bad mood. Madge was the obvious choice.”
“Frig off!” Madge told Radio 4’s Mark Lawson.
“Gandalf’s a woofta? You’re joking. I only took the job so I could have a go on him! Well mark my words – he’ll bloody change his mind once Madge Harvey’s taken proper hold of his wand.”
Story: Jasper Gibson