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Supermarket News: Deputy PM Nick Clegg has unveiled plans to regularly publish the receipts from his weekly shop at ASDA in a bid to improve government transparency.

“Once people have free and easy access to know what I’ve had for my dinner, or what shower gel I favour, I feel we can move on as a nation and get the economy back on track,” said Clegg this morning.

“For too long people have wondered what type of toilet paper I buy. Do I wipe with ASDA Smart Choice? Or do I push the boat out when it comes to my bottom and opt for a posh wipe with some Andrex Touch of Luxury?”

“Nick just wants to show the British public that he’s a normal, down-to-earth guy,” said a Lib Dem spokesman.

“He’s also a bit bored as he doesn’t have much to do these days – apart from shrug his way through cabinet meetings and the occasional meet and greet with pensioners or school children.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

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