Swipe left/right

Supermarket News: Deputy PM Nick Clegg has unveiled plans to regularly publish the receipts from his weekly shop at ASDA in a bid to improve government transparency.

“Once people have free and easy access to know what I’ve had for my dinner, or what shower gel I favour, I feel we can move on as a nation and get the economy back on track,” said Clegg this morning.

“For too long people have wondered what type of toilet paper I buy. Do I wipe with ASDA Smart Choice? Or do I push the boat out when it comes to my bottom and opt for a posh wipe with some Andrex Touch of Luxury?”

“Nick just wants to show the British public that he’s a normal, down-to-earth guy,” said a Lib Dem spokesman.

“He’s also a bit bored as he doesn’t have much to do these days – apart from shrug his way through cabinet meetings and the occasional meet and greet with pensioners or school children.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    Simply 21 brilliantly funny readers’ letters to Viz magazine
  2. Pics
    19 images that define the word “irony” with hilarious accuracy
  3. Pics
    Nothing to see here. Just a kilted, sword-bearing tortise pulling a barrel of mead
  4. Exclusive
    Can you solve the cryptic clues to work out the names of these 17 tube stations?
  5. Exclusive
    7 blockbuster movies that look completely daft without CGI
« Swipe navigation »