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Armageddon News: North Korea has denied that recent satellite photographs show preparations for a long-range missile test, insisting it’s simply a ‘baguette delivery system’ for starving citizens.

An official statement from Pyongyang says the launch, set for some time between 12 and 16 April, will fire a series of giant baguettes with the sole purpose of feeding starving North Koreans more quickly and efficiently.

“If this test launch of baguettes goes to plan, further launches could fire ham, cheese and even salad into North Korean’s mouths – making the dream of a long-range lunch a reality.”

The planned launch could demonstrate if North Korea is closer to perfecting a multi-stage rocket that could hit the US.

“If we perfected a missile that can reach the US, it would only to be so we can share our bread with them. Delicious bread, made with finest Korean wheat. Nothing to do with raining nuclear death on their imperialist heads.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

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