Economy News: Chancellor George Osborne ‎has announced plans to contract the disease rickets, in a last-ditch bid to connect with the British working classes.

Rickets – a softening of the bones often caused by severe malnutrition – leads to skeletal deformities, muscle weakness and dental problems – all of which Osbsorne says are ‘vital to understand the working classes’.

“It’s what they all have, isn’t it?” said Osborne at a press conference this morning. “I imagine it’s from living on a diet of pasties and cheap lager. But if it means we can get the economy moving again and I can restore the faith of the electorate then so be it.”

Osborne has also announced plans to wear a string vest, get a tattoo and install a burnt-out car directly outside his family home in London’s Notting Hill.

“It’ll be like that programme on the television, Shameless,” said Osborne. “I haven’t seen it myself, but I got one of my Filipino maids to describe it to me. What are those poor people like!”

Story: Simon Swatman

► Our NEW Android friendly app - brings you our latest exclusives PLUS the funniest videos and pictures from the internet DAILY - in one place. images-1 ► Bargain Mug Of The Week from The Poke Shop image_16353_1_195315_1_38903_1_48_1_430727

Leave a Reply

One Response

  • Von

    I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch
    is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an impatience
    over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again
    as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you
    shield this hike.

    Also visit my blog post – how virtual phone number
    works (Von)

    April 17, 2014 at 10:18 pm