Swipe left/right

Sexy News: An extensive new sex survey shows that over 60% of Brits have used a photo of PM David Cameron to delay orgasm when making love.

“Before the coalition government came to power I used to mentally list unpaid bills or think about sports to delay ejaculation” said one participant.

“But since David Cameron has come to power we keep his photo in a drawer in a bedside table. If I think I’m going to climax before my wife, I can just take a quick look into his podgy, soulless eyes and I’m good to go for another 5 minutes.”

“It’s refreshing to know David Cameron is useful for something,” said Dr. Ray Manzarek, the scientist behind the survey. “Our findings show that Dave has unquestionably improved the UK’s sex life.”

“When Britons previously tried this technique with a picture of Tony Blair, intercourse was not extended – it was often abruptly cut off – with cries of ‘warcrimes! warcrimes!’.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    The whole internet is lolling at Amanda Chantal Bacon’s pretentious hippy diet of 50 foods you’ve never heard of
  2. Pics
    What’s wrong with this picture?
  3. Popular
    This man changed his name to something extraordinary to defeat the system
  4. Popular
    Parents strap a GoPro to a toddler and then play hide and seek, with predictably adorable results
  5. Pics
    Nigeria’s greatest scam email
« Swipe navigation »