Sex Tape News: Former N-Dubz singer Dappy was today left confused as to why X-Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos was kissing a man’s wee wee stick in a video he saw on the internet.

“What was she doing with his tinkle wand?” asked a baffled Dappy on Twitter earlier today. “Did his wee wee stick get bitten by a snake? Was she trying to suck the poison out?”

“Maybe the man was wearing gloves and Tulisa was helping him get his dongle out to go pee pee?”

Friends and family of Dappy are hesitant to explain exactly what Tulisa, his cousin, was doing in the video. “We’ve tried to talk to him about the birds and bees before,” sighed one anonymous family member.

“But he always pulls his hat down over his eyes, and complains that it’s ‘boring’. At that point we usually just give him a Capri-Sun and tell him to go and kick a ball around in the back garden.”

Story: Simon Swatman

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9 Responses

  • chantelle stevenson

    i think the sex tape scandel is fake because tulisa wont do anything like that. the person that sold it for money was her ex boyfriend and dappy does not need to talk about hes cussion like that loved n-dubz when they were together and love them more because they have gone solo now tulisa needs her fans to be loyal to her and not go around and start saying things about her

    March 23, 2012 at 6:09 pm
  • Steve

    Your name is Chantelle? Isn’t that latin for infinitely wise?

    March 23, 2012 at 11:53 pm
  • Sharrdonnae

    I think chantelle is fake coz she don’t no how to rite proplee or use corrict punktation. And her name is jus a made up one. Tulisa is dirty tho

    March 24, 2012 at 9:22 am
  • Matt

    I didn’t know they were cousins. That make s some of their songs a bit… ugh. I mean, like, more than before. Serious ugh.

    March 24, 2012 at 11:18 pm
  • Skidsrobin

    Sharrdonnae, too funny. That comment made my day.

    March 25, 2012 at 6:53 pm
  • jelly

    I think that pretty much every girl and guy out there in a relationship have oral sex, and if they feel they are secure in a relationship and they want to tape it then they shouldn’t be penalised or judged for it!! Everyone has oral sex;(though it is silly to tape it because you never know what might happen with it, this being a prefect example, but it does not make you a bad person) ps. hate narrow minded fuckers

    April 9, 2012 at 8:05 pm
  • Donna

    I do believe that a certain amount of inbreeding is obligatory in the Bubble community. At least, it is round here in Norf Laaaahndan

    May 11, 2012 at 1:04 pm
  • ryan

    dappy man she a slut

    August 25, 2012 at 8:58 pm
  • Tilbud Canada Goose Jakke

    Patience is a mark of confidence.So long.Any thing else? He made his way through the forest.You look as if you didn’t care.As far as policy is concerned, I have to say something.As a matter of fact, he was pretending to be ill.That makes no difference.Just around the comer.His words are strongly impressed on my memory.

    December 3, 2012 at 10:44 am