Swipe left/right

Sex Tape News: Former N-Dubz singer Dappy was today left confused as to why X-Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos was kissing a man’s wee wee stick in a video he saw on the internet.

“What was she doing with his tinkle wand?” asked a baffled Dappy on Twitter earlier today. “Did his wee wee stick get bitten by a snake? Was she trying to suck the poison out?”

“Maybe the man was wearing gloves and Tulisa was helping him get his dongle out to go pee pee?”

Friends and family of Dappy are hesitant to explain exactly what Tulisa, his cousin, was doing in the video. “We’ve tried to talk to him about the birds and bees before,” sighed one anonymous family member.

“But he always pulls his hat down over his eyes, and complains that it’s ‘boring’. At that point we usually just give him a Capri-Sun and tell him to go and kick a ball around in the back garden.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Breaking News: This truly wonderful Roger Moore story will soothe your aching soul

Trending Now

  1. News
    This truly wonderful Roger Moore story will soothe your aching soul
  2. Weird World
    Villagers fill potholes with rubber ducks in possibly the most British protest ever
  3. Pics
    Polite message
  4. Pics
    This guy going around a museum and using FaceApp to add smiles to classical art has finally found a good use for FaceApp
  5. News
    “Top tips for men juggling a successful career and fatherhood” hilariously nails how sexist the advice given to working women is
« Swipe navigation »