Swipe left/right

Crime News: The actress Angela Lansbury – who portrayed the writer and sleuth Jessica Fletcher in Murder, She Wrote – is absolutely rubbish at solving crimes in real life, according to New York police.

“I was working a double homicide case in the Broadway area,” said Detective Ray Cameron. “We found a couple of bodies chopped up in a dumpster round the back of an Italian restaurant off Times Square.”

“Someone mentioned that Jessica Fletcher was appearing in a play around there, so I thought I’d pay her a visit to see if she could shed any light on the case. When I showed her the crime scene photos she just went pale and almost fainted. What a waste of my fuckin’ time that was.”

It’s not the first time Lansbury has dramatically failed to solve a mystery in real life.

In 2006, when a peg-legged man was found murdered in a motel room in Los Angeles, Lansbury was unable to prove the innocence of a rich movie heiress in Beverly Hills. Later that year she moved to New York in disgrace.

Story: Simon Swatman


Trending Now

  1. Pics
    Amazon review details the dangers of using a ‘Shewee Extreme’
  2. Pics
    41 Amazing Inventions
  3. Weird World
    Highlights from Australia’s “most awkward holiday photo” competition
  4. Pics
    Students! You Need Caroline!
  5. Pics
    Geography homework response of the day
« Swipe navigation »