Swipe left/right

Crime News: The actress Angela Lansbury – who portrayed the writer and sleuth Jessica Fletcher in Murder, She Wrote – is absolutely rubbish at solving crimes in real life, according to New York police.

“I was working a double homicide case in the Broadway area,” said Detective Ray Cameron. “We found a couple of bodies chopped up in a dumpster round the back of an Italian restaurant off Times Square.”

“Someone mentioned that Jessica Fletcher was appearing in a play around there, so I thought I’d pay her a visit to see if she could shed any light on the case. When I showed her the crime scene photos she just went pale and almost fainted. What a waste of my fuckin’ time that was.”

It’s not the first time Lansbury has dramatically failed to solve a mystery in real life.

In 2006, when a peg-legged man was found murdered in a motel room in Los Angeles, Lansbury was unable to prove the innocence of a rich movie heiress in Beverly Hills. Later that year she moved to New York in disgrace.

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Videos
    This Brexit version of Downfall takes us inside Boris Johnson’s bunker
  2. Exclusive
    8 times it was worth reading the small print
  3. News
    People are cursing Boris with #CurseBorisJohnson: the only nine (funny) tweets you need to read
  4. Pics
    Someone uploaded Boris Johnson’s post-referendum speech to Pornhub
  5. Pics
    This amusing “how the Icelandic national team was selected” graphic has gone viral…
« Swipe navigation »