Amazeballs News: Sean Lockhart, 42 of Tooting, London, expressed his deep sense of personal injury today after friends completely rejected his claim to have invented internet buzzword ‘amazeballs’ years ago.
“Yes, Perez Hilton and Tim Burgess may have helped it along, but the first time it was ever said was by me in the late nineties. I was looking at some Edam. ‘What amazing balls of cheese,’ I thought, ‘they’re amazeballs’.”
“Then I just started dropping it into conversation. People in my area started using it, and now it’s all over the internet. But basically it’s all down to me. I started it.”
Not so, says childhood friend Janette Leigh.
“Sean’s always saying stuff like that.”
“”Muffin tops’, ‘happy slapping’ ‘dogging’, – he reckons he came up with them all. A few years ago he insisted he came up with ’404 error’ when he was looking for a party in a hotel and got the room number wrong.”
“He’s been planning one about London 2012 but he won’t tell us what it is.”
Lockhart, however, remains defiant.
“I came up with ‘amazeballs’. That’s just a fact. My mum backs me up and so does my Uncle Benny.”
“I don’t give a shit what people say. Genius always goes unrecognised unless you’re some kind of Einstein. Point is – millions of people will be saying ‘amazeballs’ this summer while I sit back and watch the sport on the telly, rather than getting stuck in the crowds with all the Olympricks.”
Story: Jasper Gibson