Celebrity News: Comedian and actor Russell Brand has confirmed that he’s feeling much better after the end of his 14-month marriage to singer Katy Perry, and is now ready to resume some prolific shagging.
“It’s time for me to get back on the saddle,” Brand joked at a recent film premiere. “Literally, in my case. Did you know I once had sex with a girl sitting on top of a horse? My God, I’ve had so much sex. And now I’m ready to have tons more!”
36-year-old Brand, who was granted a divorce from Perry in February, has yet to detail exactly how much shagging he plans to do, though he has hinted it will ‘be loads’ and he’s likely to end up with a ‘raw willy’ from all the sex.
“Despite the physical dangers, I plan to fully commit to loads of shagging,” promised Brand. “After all, those women won’t shag themselves!”
“Or maybe they will, and I could watch. Whilst shagging someone else.”
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The man is a total, utter, talentless and ugly (though he can’t really help that) Twat of the first order (though he could do something about that by quietly disappearing into the hole from which he unfortunately crawled.) A comedian? I’ve had better laughs by examining my own vomit.
Talentless tosser. Fully agree with Dave above. Wish he would just go back to the US and stay there, with all the other no-hope- wannabies.
“A comedian? I’ve had better laughs by examining my own vomit.”
Dude, you need help
Agree with everyone. Will there be a queue of women outside his door? Bombay boy, can I laugh at your vomit?
Anyone who knows the guy’s work, will tell you that this is all made up nonsense, he really despises the word ‘shag’, he’s talked at length on his contempt for the word, so he wouldn’t be using it in such a free showing off way at all, it demonstrates how made up this is
Made up? Really?
what a lad
He will be using http://www.tagmyshag.co.uk... no doubt!