Swipe left/right

Korea News: North Korea has agreed to stop nuclear tests, uranium enrichment and long-range missile launches in return for the singer Adele.

The shock announcement came as North Korean leader Kim Jong-un spoke of his love for the 23-year-old soul singer.

“I love her music and attitude to life.” said Jong-un. “We’ve all suffered loss and she’s a true inspiration when it comes to picking up the pieces and moving on.” It is also widely believed that Jong-un secretly visited Tottenham last year, in order to see where the singer grew up.

“He could never really do anything about it while his father was alive,” said a friend of Jong-un. “But since his father’s death he’s really in strong position to make a move for Adele. What better way to woo a girl than a nuclear arsenal?”

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said  she welcomed the blossoming romance, but still had ‘profound concerns’, as Kim Jong-un is a ‘big fat man with hungry eyes’ and Adele ‘could feed thousands’.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Exclusive
    31 Things You Will Never Be Able To Look At In The Same Way Ever Again
  2. Pics
    19 images that define the word “irony” with hilarious accuracy
  3. Exclusive
    10 reasons punctuation is incredibly important
  4. News
    This woman wrote and submitted her uni assignment whilst drunk
  5. Videos
    Watch this low-budget ad that’s so cringe-making it’s gone viral
« Swipe navigation »