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Sports News: Super-rich – and super-bored with losing – owner of Chelsea, Roman Abramovich, today surprised the football world by announcing a strategy to help win silverware – a new manager every match.

‘I have ze money,” he said. “So why not? I vill give each one exactly 90 minutes to prove zemzelves. If zey win, zey stay. If zey lose, zey out.”

Playing hard and fast with traditional contracts, whereby managers are given at least a couple of matches before they get the sack, Abramovich has vowed to “set ze snow-wolf amongst ze pigeons.”

Richard Sadlebury, FA spokesman and Chair of The Managers Association expressed his shock at the news.

“I’m shocked,” he said.

Story: Johnathan Eley

Image: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: This TV listing from 1975 was written by someone who was sick of TV and sick of their job

 

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