Swipe left/right

Celebrity News: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have confirmed plans to build ‘the world’s loneliest theme park’ for their children in the grounds of their castle in the South of France.

According to an inside source, the Hollywood couple told their six children that the eco-friendly amusement park will feature boat rides, a pirate island and ‘absolutely none of your friends’.

The park will also feature a go-kart track and an old-fashioned carousel, which Pitt has promised his children ‘will feel cruelly empty’ due to ‘the isolating nature of celebrity life’.

When asked why they were so friendless and alone in the world, Jolie reportedly told her children ‘because the men with the cameras outside won’t go away’.

The theme park also boasts a gift shop, designed specifically for the Pitt-Jolie children.

“When your kids are called Shiloh, Zahara or Pax it’s hard to find personalised gifts in theme parks,” said a close friend. “Let’s hope a novelty key ring with ‘Zahara’ on it makes up for the eerie silence.”

Story: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: Donald Trump skips White House dinner and everyone wants Alec Baldwin to replace him

 

Trending Now

  1. News
    Ex-Disney sculptor crowdfunds mass production of a naked Trump troll doll
  2. Pics
    19 images that define the word “irony” with hilarious accuracy
  3. Pics
    This comment from a reader of the FT has gone viral because it nails the remainer/leaver Brexit row
  4. Pics
    56 times British Twitter proved that British people are funniest people on the internet
  5. Videos
    Slow Donald Trump down a bit and he has a real “old drunk man ranting in a bar at 3am” feel
« Swipe navigation »