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World News: The Foreign Office says it is ‘urgently’ trying to clarify why a British tanker ship full of delicious Branston Pickle has been stopped from docking in Argentina.

It is reported that the 77,500 ton ship, The Ploughman’s Lunch, was turned back by port officials in Ushuaia, the capital of the country’s southernmost tip, Tierra del Fuego.

She is thought to be carrying enough Branston to lubricate nearly 650,000 cheese sandwiches. “This is a very serious situation,” warned Captain Edmund Crosse.

“If we don’t urgently find a solution with the Argentinian authorities we’ll have to take drastic steps, which could involve dumping our tasty cargo into the sea, in the hope it washes up on the shores of the pickle-starved Falkland islands.”

“This is an insult to Branston and to the British people,” said a Foreign office spokesman. “We are worried if this incident escalates, we could see protests outside the Argentinian embassy.”

“DVD’s of the film Evita may get chucked into a bonfire.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

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