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London gangs adopt public school-style initiations

Gang News: It may be about ‘repping your ends’ and what postcode you’re from, but when it comes to the internal management of London’s street gangs, criminal teenagers are turning to some rather old-fashioned initiation ceremonies make sure their members are ‘the toughest’.

Mans might be ready to stab someone up,” says Get Money Gang member X-blox – real name Shane Richards – who asked not to be named. “But so what? These days that ain’t nothing. But mans ready to play ‘Soggy B’ – that’s like, some serious respect right there. Because that shit is nasty.”

Soggy Biscuit, Ragging, Suck The Finger, Hairybags, The Trafalgar and other public school torments have found their way out of the dormitory and onto the estates of contemporary Britain.

It’s one of the most interesting cases of social cross-pollination we have ever seen,” says anthropologist Rex Withers.

Gang members seem to have discovered these antiquated techniques on the internet, at a time when beatings and straight forward violence simply aren’t enough.”

The collective gang-mind was evidently searching for the kind of humiliation that has produced the emotionally deficient pyschopaths that have ruled Britain for centuries.”

Let’s face it: it’s only once you have eaten a digestive covered in other people’s semen that you are really able to make effective leadership decisions.”

 

Story: Jasper Gibson