Swipe left/right

Poor News: London Mayor Boris Johnson has put forward plans to build a new London airport in the Thames Estuary on ‘the shattered bodies of the poor and unemployed’.


If his plans are passed by the Government, jobless Londoners – and those who earn under a certain amount each year – will be escorted onto a high speed train to Kent, taken to the site in the estuary and invited to lie down in the water and form the foundations of the new airport.

We’re inviting Londoners to really be an active part of this new airport,” said Johnson.

“Specifically the foundations of runways one, two and three.”

Their worthless pleb bodies would make an ecologically-friendly foundation for building on, and it would get those dreary poor people of the streets of the capital – making the city a vibrant, happy place for all my friends in Chelsea and Kensington.”

Oh God, that sounds like something he would say,” confirmed a spokesman for the Mayor’s office.

“I’ll have to check. Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Video Of The Day: Mechanics create an impressive portrait of Queen made from 900 car parts #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Weird World
    Bored businessman makes ridiculous requests to hotel staff to pass the time
  2. uncategorised
    How this Australian newspaper announced Benedict Cumberbatch’s engagement is hilarious
  3. News
    People are sharing “hilarious jokes that a few seconds to get” and they’re very amusing indeed
  4. uncategorised
    Naughty scamps have overrun David Cameron’s #VoteConservative hashtag and it’s hilarious
  5. News
    This couple booked a room on AIRBnB and “walked into a porn shoot”
« Swipe navigation »