Poor News: London Mayor Boris Johnson has put forward plans to build a new London airport in the Thames Estuary on ‘the shattered bodies of the poor and unemployed’.

If his plans are passed by the Government, jobless Londoners – and those who earn under a certain amount each year – will be escorted onto a high speed train to Kent, taken to the site in the estuary and invited to lie down in the water and form the foundations of the new airport.

We’re inviting Londoners to really be an active part of this new airport,” said Johnson.

“Specifically the foundations of runways one, two and three.”

Their worthless pleb bodies would make an ecologically-friendly foundation for building on, and it would get those dreary poor people of the streets of the capital – making the city a vibrant, happy place for all my friends in Chelsea and Kensington.”

Oh God, that sounds like something he would say,” confirmed a spokesman for the Mayor’s office.

“I’ll have to check. Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

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2 Responses

  • Gregor

    LoL!! It’s funny because as a Tory he must want to kill the poor! This is an original and funny joke, well done Simon! I think it’s funny when people say Labour like killing Iraqis. Of course even though Boris has done things like freeze the council tax (as opposed to Ken who raised it every year) which helps the poor a lot more than it does the rich. Your’re right, what we really need to do is vote Labour because their excellent stewardship of our country has bought a munificent bounty to all…apart from those in jobs, stuck on benefits or anyone still breathing really.

    January 20, 2012 at 1:08 pm
  • Harry Ramp

    Yeah, the Tories are making sure that those in jobs or on benefits will not suffer as they did before by quickly and efficiently getting rid of the jobs and the benefits.

    January 21, 2012 at 11:01 pm