Michael Gove launches own website

Gove News: Education and former children’s entertainer Michael Gove today hit back at criticism that he was ‘out of touch’ with the British people by launching a new website, directgove.com, that will connect him directly to the homes, workplaces, and pockets of the electorate.

After Gove’s suggestion that cash-strapped Britain might like to buy the Queen a shiny new mega-boat, he was attacked by all sides of the House for his ‘poor judgement’.

“I’m sure she’d prefer a pony in a waistcoat,” said Nick Clegg, after dismissing Ed Miliband’s proposal of a golden jacuzzi with an amusing ‘Philip is farting’ button as ‘preposterous’.

Today saw Gove fight back.

“Directgove.com is the first multi-platformed demo-enhance gubernatorial connectivisation network ever to be launchified,” Gove insisted, “allowing the British people direct access to me, Michael Gove, wherever they want, whenever they want, as long as it is Monday to Friday between 11.30 am and 1pm via email or fax. My team will endeavour to provide a response within 2-3 working years.”

Asked if directgove.com would provide an answer as to whether he used private email accounts to conduct government business and then erased those emails, Gove replied that, at a push, his favourite two historical figures to be sat next to at a dinner party would be Disraeli and Leonard Rossiter.

Story: Jasper Gibson

Image: Chris Miller