Saville News: Jimmy Saville’s death has inspired the BBC to hastily arrange a return of the much loved TV show Jim’ll Fix It, only this time not with a Jim, but a Tim: Tim Westwood.
“It’s as I keep saying,” BBC commissioner Paul Riggott told Cbeebies Magazine, “It’s all about younger audiences, it’s all about younger audiences.”
“And who can better fill Jimmy’s orthopedic trainers than Westwood? Dementia, autism, an ageing man dressed as a toddler… Westwood has it all. He’s also been hanging around the building a lot upsetting the reception staff.”
It seems there’s to be a few alterations to the format. Kids will be starting each letter with “Dear Tim’ll…”, or even “Listen Bitch…”, and gone will be the health and safety minefield of bundling children onto a Thorpe Park rollercoaster with a Kwik Save bag of burgers and glass bottles full of orange juice.
“Nowadays all a group of boy scouts want to do is spend an afternoon rolling around a hired limo with their hands down their enormous trousers surrounded by disinterested big-bottomed ladies”, Riggott hopes.
Story: Dave Anderson