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Games News: In a bid to corner the lucrative Christmas board game market, Mattel is to release Pricktionary, an 18-rated penis-themed version of their hit drawing game, Pictionary.

Mattel to release Pricktionary

Ever since prehistoric man discovered colourful dyes they’ve painted crap pictures of cocks on the wall. Or mammoths,” spokesman for Mattel, Richard Face told us. “That’s what Pricktionary is about, except points are deducted for mammoths.”

The rules of the game are simple: players take it in turns to draw a knob while their team tries to guess its owner.

Of course, there will always be some people who say it’s wrong to sit around with your elderly relatives drawing penises after Christmas dinner,” said Face, “but our marketing experts predict that Pricktionary will outsell last year’s hit games like Cockaroo, Lewdo and Kerrspunk.”

Rivals Hasbro have been branded ‘hypocritical’ for ridiculing Pricktionary as ‘painfully puerile’ and ‘a low point in the history of board games’ while simultaneously announcing plans to release a penis-themed version of ‘Snap’.

Story+Image: Toby Tripp

 

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