Face of Jobs appears on an apple

Apple News: Religious fanaticism surrounding the death of Apple boss Steve Jobs took a new turn yesterday when Wisconsin teenager Mandy Fall cut open an apple during her lunch break – and found the image of the technology pioneer staring back at her.

“It was just so awesome,” she gushed. “I loved Steve and I love everything that Apple is, does, and stands for. I think this is a message. It’s saying ‘Hello everyone. I’m still here. I’m still innovating’.

The apple is now in a glass case on the family mantelpiece, transforming their home into a pilgrimage site as devotees queue around the block to catch a glimpse of the fruity miracle.

“Steve is still with us,” says Ranesh Gupta, who flew all the way from India to be part of what he terms ‘the experiencialization.’

“I just felt I should come and give thanks – and if that meant selling my sisters into sexual slavery to afford the ticket then so be it.”

As news spread around the interweb, other images of Jobs were reported to have appeared on a baked cake in Sweden, on some toast in Japan, and on a damp wall at the back of a pub in Portsmouth.

“This phenomenon doesn’t surprise me at all,” says new Apple CEO Tim Cook.

“His mind was all about increased processing power – why shouldn’t his spirit be the same? I think this is the clearest evidence yet that if you have an Apple device, you are one of the blessed, and if you have any other type of home or portable technology, well, you deserve to have your fingers eaten off by dogs.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

Image: Q4Nobody

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