Still no sign of that invisibility cloak

Tech News: Despite reports every six months indicating a major breakthrough, there is still no sign of that invisibility cloak we keep on hearing about.

“It seems to be a regular thing – I pick up the paper and read a short article about scientists getting one step closer to inventing an invisibility cloak,” said Alan Curt, an office manager from Newbury.

“They always illustrate the story with a photo of Harry Potter, then go on about some baffling breakthrough in polymers that can bend light. But can I stand outside my neighbour’s window masturbating in the knowledge that a high-tech cloak will hide my shame? No. I still have to hide in the bushes like an animal.”

The scientific community has called for the general public to be patient. “Over the years we’ve developed technology to hide magnetic fields and cloak infra-red signatures, which have great military applications,” said Prof. Brian Length of Reading University.

“But the invisibility cloak that lets you slip unnoticed into the women’s changing room is still some way away, though it will happen – we scientists are very determined. And horny. So very, very horny.”

Story:  Simon Swatman

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