Racing News: The British Horse Racing Authority has announced controversial plans to allow Shetland ponies to compete in the Goodwood races on Wednesday.
“First it makes the jockeys and horses seem slightly more in proportion, making the riders feel somewhat normal for the first time in their tiny, wretched lives.”
“Secondly, we hope the ponies will draw the under-sixteen crowd – something we’ve tried to do before with Hello Kitty themed betting slips made out of edible sugar paper.”
The move comes at a time when the horse racing industry is seeing a real decline in popularity.
Previous attempts to popularise the sport include the introduction of exploding bears onto the course at Royal Ascot earlier this year – and the widely criticised decision to spike the champagne at Goodwood with a strong drug that tuns you into a red-faced, braying, violent, upper-class prick.