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Bingo Special: Political bullshit, interview bollocks – call it what you will. We’ve all heard it: those words and phrases that seep across the brain like a clammy fog as our leaders pretend that the foot on our heads is a nice new hat.

Well now you can resist the intellectual anaesthetic and liven up those dreary interviews with The Poke’s exclusive ‘lessons will be learned’ BIG BULLSHIT BOLLOCKS BINGO CARD!

political bullshit bingo

We’ve compiled every single cliché used by politicians or CEOs who just want to run the clock down when defending the indefensible, denying a total cock-up, shrugging off a damning inquiry or simply giving innocent deaths the old thumbs up.

INTERVIEW BOLLOCKS BINGO is yours to print, cut out ‘n’ keep… and then throw away in disgust.

Includes all the classics:

We acted on information we had at the time” (used by people who won’t apologise for murder – e.g. Stalin, Hitler, Tony Blair )

We fell way short of expectations” (used when innocent people are killed, children are abused, etc)

I can’t comment on individual cases” (always preceded by the word, ‘obviously’)

We fulfilled our legal requirements” (as used by BP, Union Carbide)

Lessons will be learned” (used by everyone, the equivalent of starting a conversation with ‘to be honest’…)

……. is not fit for purpose” (is usually followed by ‘indicative of a box-ticking culture’)

Or, when it’s really bad, the all-time unaccountability classic: “No-one was available for comment”

HOW TO PLAY:

A full line across or down is a top score or full house of utter bollocks…

A partial line of 3 or 4 across or down is disingenuous claptrap…

A partial line of 1 or 2 across or down is mere drivel.

Marking a star gains you an extra point.

Don’t forget the FREE BOLLOCKS in the centre! Now go turn on the news!

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