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Greeks to have their country ‘taken off them’

European News: Greeks are to have their country taken away from them, after the rest of the European Union found that the country was reneging on its debt restructure, wasn’t imposing cutbacks, and was ‘consistently refusing to sit still, especially at mealtimes.’


German chancellor Angela Merkel insisted it was ‘unacceptable’ that Greeks should receive a bailout from her country’s taxpayers when they retire earlier, take longer holidays than German workers, and ‘don’t know how to share’.

The final straw came when the EU discovered that the Greek economy was not focusing on debt repayments and has instead been spending its entire budget on things like hair gel, Winston cigarettes, ouzo and those little plastic donkeys you get on holiday.

With one eye on the elections in Germany this year, Merkel has therefore agreed with other major European states to take the country away from the Greeks – and put them on the Belgian naughty step.

‘They won’t get their country back’, she assured the EU parliament, ‘until they learn how to play with their economy in a responsible manner’.

Greece has since been told to go straight to bed – without having any dessert.