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Russell Brand to star in Osama bio-pic

Osama Latest: With Osama Bin Laden killed and World War Three now officially started, Hollywood has been quick to capitalise on the global glee about some more people being murdered with a new bio-pic rushed into production.


‘Osama: Love on the Run’ will be a tale of two Russells: Brand to play the firebrand terrorist with flashing eyes and a fondness for caves; Crowe as the CIA black ops hit squad leader, a.k.a Captain Righteous, a.k.a The Goon Smoker.

It was going to be called ‘Bring Me The Head of Osama Bin Laden’ then ‘Village of Blood’, then ‘A Storm Named Vengeance,” said producer Harvey Weinstein, “but eventually we put in a love interest – a forbidden romance with a crippled shepherd girl, played by Penelope Cruz – and settled on ‘Osama’.”

Shooting started yesterday, with the premiere expected the day after tomorrow.

Despite Charlie Sheen’s claims that he killed Bin Laden ‘with his mind’, President Obama (who will be played by Danny DeVito) has continued to praise the operation, heralding the killing as a ‘turning point’ in the War on Terror.

Now that we’ve shown everyone how good we are at killing – again,” he said, “that should settle it.”

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