How to get sacked
By Simon Swatman
Recession Exclusive: With the latest wave of public and private-sector job losses hitting the nation hard, you’d be forgiven for thinking that almost everyone seems to be riding the P45 express to Redundancy Central. Now a study by the UK’s leading employment agency has come up with an intriguing way to deal with imminent job-loss: beat your employer to it, and get yourself sacked.
“You will get canned, mark my words. So it’s best to start now by clearing your desk of any personal items” advises Dr. Sheridan Gripp, who headed up the study.
“This way when you inevitably get sacked, you can head straight to the pub and not have to worry about carrying around a box full of herbal teabags, ketchup packets, novelty toys and all the other crap people cover their desks with.”
Once you’d removed any trace of your existence from the office, the next step is to get fired before those in charge can deprive you of the satisfaction. With that in mind, Dr. Gripp has teamed up exclusively with The Poke to bring you this simple ten-step guide to getting sacked, hopefully without having to murder anyone.