TV News: He’s reformed a nation’s eating habits, cleaned up school dinners, and made over our education system. Now our Jamie is going for the big one: running an as yet unnamed Middle Eastern country for a new reality show, code name ‘Jamie of Arabia’ – the first commissioned show to be created using Channel Four’s Automated Programmed Generator.
“It’s the obvious next step,” Britain’s favourite foodie told journalists this morning, while chopping celeriac in his Suffolk kitchen.
“We’re already working on some policies and recipes that could bring stability to the region – can’t really say exactly where right now – but the whole place has lots going for it: strong community feel, really great weather and wonderful fresh produce.”
“The plan is I fly in to wherever, then bish bash bosh some heads together over a couple of chick-pea based recipes, tabbouleh and that, traditional stuff – only done with a Jamie twist. Sprig of coriander. Something like that.”
“We’ve already got some scenes worked out where I like step out between the military and the protesters, with like a tray of mezzies or whatever, and like I’m wearing this flowing Arab scarf thing and we all make peace and stuff over fabulous food. It’s a bit like them Sainsbury’s Christmas commercials where everyone gathers round and has a laugh. Except forget the Christmas bit, obviously.”
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