Piers Morgan’s facelift ‘disaster’

Piers News: Piers Morgan is suing a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon after his facelift operation left him looking like ‘a dead Jamie Oliver’.

Tabloid wunderkind and primetime chat show host Morgan was ordered by CNN bosses to “buff up his mush” over fears that American audiences wouldn’t be able to handle the “close-up realities of a British face”.

What started as a simple teeth-whitening and jowl-reduction procedure went “completely haywire” according to insiders, leaving Morgan with eerie skin and lips like Meg Ryan after a bar fight.

“He’s got his own show, a glamorous wife and he lives in a luxury hotel,” said a friend.

“All he needed to complete the picture was ratings success – and in the US that means having the youthful glow of an Indonesian beach-child, however old or British you are. Inside, he’s hurting. Outside, he’s just going to have to put a brave face on it. Another one.”

Though Morgan refused to talk to reporters today, CNN confirmed that his new face would in no way affect his contract.

“Are you kidding me? We stand behind Piers one hundred percent,” said executive producer Chuck Perlope.

“This is the kind of proactive move we expect from our stars. He’s setting himself up for a three decade career – the work’s already been done. Now he won’t need any surgery when he gets into his fifties. He’ll be the chat show Mickey Rourke forever.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

Image: Q4Nobody