Swipe left/right

Sports News: Blackpool’s prostitutes are preparing for another booming weekend of business as Tottenham Hotspur play Blackpool FC at home this Sunday.

Like every other sector of the UK’s economy, revenues from prostitution have fallen an estimated 17.34% this quarter, and with the cold weather expected to continue, things have been looking bleak for Britain’s sex workers.

Not so Blackpool. With the football club having made it into the premier league this season, home matches with big clubs like Manchester United have meant an Indian summer for the city’s freezing cold prostitutes as thousands of drunken, cross-eyed fans, away from their wives, try to live out the fantasies built up on the internet throughout the working week.

“Well they’re Londoners, aren’t they,” says Suzie Le Best, 43, “so number one they are thick, and number two they have pots of money. You put on a Blackpool strip and if their team’s won it’s a victory shag, if they’ve lost it’s a revenge shag – either way I charge them double, but then again that’s just me – football fan, always have been.”


Trending Now

  1. Exclusive
    Read this exclusive extract from “Little Miss Brexit”
  2. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  3. Pics
    12 pictures of petty annoyances
  4. News
    Phil Collins touring again means it’s open season on Phil Collins jokes: here’s 8 of the BEST
  5. Pics
    Brexit news: chocolate currency now stronger than the pound
« Swipe navigation »