Swipe left/right

Milibert, who beat his brother Ernie by a whisker to be Labour’s new leader, gave an emotional speech to the party conference today, declaring ‘I love my brother’. Again.

Detailing his plans to unify the party and resist Conservative slash-and-burn austerity cuts, he stayed away from actual policy commitments, focusing instead on a broad narrative of where the party must go.

Referencing past successes, he squeaked, “Yes conference, it is time to play the music, yes, it is time to light the lights, and yes, it’s time to remember the muppets, on the Muppet Show tonight,” but he emphasized the need to move forward and for all party members to join him in the long walk “from Sesame Street to Downing Street.”

Despite the rhetoric and the rapturous applause, nothing could stop the specualtion as to whether Ernie would take up the job as Shadow Chancellor, or leave politics for good and leave the job open to Count Von Count, or even Fozzie Bear.

Waka waka waka!” said Fozzie to journalists after Milibert’s speech. Again.

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    People are saying this is the worst LGBT shirt they’ve ever seen
  2. Pics
    This letter complaining about the Great British Bake Off to the Metro is both sublime and ridiculous
  3. Pics
    This receipt has gone viral because someone’s girlfriend thought it was evidence of cheating
  4. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  5. News
    This sweet story about Gene Wilder that somone posted on Guardian comments says everything about the man
« Swipe navigation »